Poopy New Year

The house was clean. We were going to my cousins' for dinner, so I didn't need to shop or cook. I felt like doing something to prepare for Yom Kippur, so I washed and waxed the car. As I was buffing, a bird pooped onto the windshield just a few inches from my elbow.

My first thought was, “You couldn't wait till I was finished?” We all know that the natural order of things dictates that if you want it to rain, either wash your car, water your lawn, or leave your umbrella at home. Then I thought, “Maybe this is a sign of what to expect in the coming year.” Ominous. But then again, maybe it was just the final poop of the outgoing year. Or maybe it wasn't a sign at all. It's hard to tell when god is sending me messages.

Should I be thankful that the poop didn't land on my head? That I wasn't looking up? But then again, couldn't the bird have targeted my annoying neighbor? On the other hand, I am fortunate to have a car at all, so I shouldn't complain about such a minor mishap. On the other other hand, maybe I shouldn't be so attached to material things.

Between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we are supposed to reflect. What could we have done differently, or better? What should we do in the coming year?

Maybe the bird was a reminder not to take myself too seriously. Maybe the universe is saying, “You polish, I'll poop.” Maybe I am supposed to think about whether during the past year I treated someone the way the bird just treated me. Maybe this and maybe that. We never know for sure, do we? So we look for signs and omens. We talk to a god who may not be listening and may not even exist.

So many times during the past year I imagined there was a message for me in events that took place around me. Maybe I should slow down and enjoy life. Or maybe I should step up the pace, because time is running out. Is there a bird out there for each of us, waiting for the right moment?

Things could always be worse. Planes fall on people's houses. Trees fall on cars. People die. What's a little poop?

Have a year full of wonder and love.